Light therapy, seasonal depression
My seasonal depression (Winter SAD) has been kicking my ass the past month or two, and in trying to explain things to marmota I realized it's time for a refresher course. Which is a bit tricky since a) the internet isn't the world's most reliable information source and b) the medical community still seems to be trying to figure some things out. For my own reference and for those who are interested, here is the info I found most interesting, with my comments in brackets. It ends up a bit stream of consciousness, but I'm not sure how else to get my thoughts together on this. I've done my best to format for readability, but it's a bit dense in places nonetheless.

From clevelandclinic.org:
-Light therapy is administered by a device that contains white fluorescent light tubes covered with a plastic screen to block ultraviolet rays. The intensity of light emitted (Lux) should be at least 10,000 Lux. [My light is a homebrew. It doesn't have any sort of diffusion to it, and is simply a bare bulb that is 10,000 lux at three feet away.] The patient does not need to look directly into the light, but reads or eats while sitting in front of the device at a distance of 2 to 3 feet. [This is very helpful to know, as I'd sort of been under the impression I did have to look directly at it, which really isn't doable without any diffusion. Trouble is, I find that it's painful even to sit in front of it to read. This leads me to wonder about getting myself a new light.]
-Recent studies suggest that morning light therapy is more effective than evening treatments. Using this treatment too late in the day may also produce insomnia. [Which means if I don't get to my light for a few hours after I get up it's ok. Immediately upon waking is best, but is not as necessary as I'd thought.] Many health professionals today prefer to treat SAD with 10,000 Lux for 30 minutes every morning. Patients have shown some improvement within 2 to 4 days and reach full benefits within 2 to 4 weeks. [This would be why when I've tried to find a set up for the light that doesn't hurt my eyes, it hasn't helped as much as I'd expect. I must keep at it.]

From wikipedia:
-SAD can be a serious disorder and may require hospitalization. There is also potential risk of suicide in some patients experiencing SAD. [I find this rather validating, as there have been days that the depression was bordering on suicidal. It seemed odd that I could feel so badly from just SAD, but I guess I can.]
-There are many different treatments for seasonal affective disorder, including light therapies, medication, and ionized-air reception. [The ionized air part is the really interesting thing, as an air purifier is something marmota had suggested somewhat intuitively, on the basis that Winter means being sealed into your house, and fresher air can help.] Negative air ionization, involving the release of charged particles into the sleep environment has been found to be effective. [This elaborates on what's involved in this treatment, but I want to talk to a doctor to better understand what this means.]
-Winter depression (or winter blues) is a common slump in the mood of Scandinavians. Doctors estimate that about 20% of all Scandinavians are affected, and it seems to be genetically heritable. It was first described by the 6th century Goth scholar Jordanes in his Getica where he described the inhabitants of Scandza (Scandinavia). There are words in Icelandic and Swedish that directly describe Seasonal Affective conditions. The Icelandic word is "skammdegisthunglyndi". "Skamm" means short, "degi" is day, "thung" is heavy and "lyndi" means mood although there is some argument as to how long the word existed as the earliest records indicate it appeared in the late 1800s in print. [This is not especially useful info, but interesting. And I now want to learn how to pronounce "skammdegisthunglyndi". :)]
-Most people with SAD experience unipolar depression, but as many as 20% may have or go on to develop a bipolar or manic-depressive disorder. In these cases, persons with SAD may experience depression during the winter and hypomania in the summer. [This is intriguing, given that for a few years now I've wondered how much the SAD had to do with the diagnosis of Type Two Bipolar I have, and now consider to be inaccurate.]

This says basically four things to me. I suck it up and use my light as much as I can, and accept that I may not get to my light til afternoon some of the time. I should get outside more often. I should talk to a professional, probably in the form of seeing a therapist. I should get a new light as soon as I can.